The youngest Kitzelmann team member was on spring break last week, and I was absolutely blown away by how fun it was to hang around the city, together. Listen, I think AK+I have (so far) done a bang-up job letting our kid know that we don’t just love and support them for who they are now, but that we are also here to provide: space for change, guidance on growth (when requested), and that we’ll continue to celebrate every unique thing about who they are as an individual. We know that our child was not brought here to live as a proxy for the bygone dreams of their parents.

A bunch of universal star stuff mixed itself up in an astrological stand mixer, and delivered in this time, in this place, to these parents, one incredible soul that is currently packaged inside the body of our six+ year old. As we navigate life together as a family, there are times when we have to check-in with ourselves about if its a “me problem” or a “we problem”. For example, one of the spring break days, we went to Japantown, and it was a super blast! We had sushi delivered to our table via bullet train, ramen brought to us by a restaurant robot, we bopped around Japan Center Mall, then enjoyed mochi donuts perched below the blooming cherry blossom trees that surround the Peace Pagoda; then, most importantly to MK, spent every one of their saved-up dimes, at Daiso.

There were five items selected and paid for with their own funds. The clear favorite emerged quickly; a white plastic mask, akin to those worn by the villains from the slasher films of my youth. As soon as it was paid for, they wore it out: of the store, on our bike ride home, playing in the park, and then intermittently through the rest of our spring break adventures.

At first, I panicked about how other people might perceive the mask, and hastily mentioned it may frighten some people. As soon as the words crossed my lips though, I did a gut check. I quickly realized that this, was a “me problem”. It was my work to manage, not MKs, and frankly, I was a little surprised at myself that I’d even considered asking my kid not to wear something of their choosing because it may make me mildly uncomfy seeing others react to a boogie-boogie mask. Not one to be easily detered, our kid said they would either just lift the mask to show their face, and/or remind the person, if they seemed alarmed, that MK was just a kid wearing a costume. At Aquatic Park the next day, we happened upon a vendor selling knitted character hats. For the love of Jack Skellington (IYKYK/MKs passion for TNBC), we plopped down parentally-funded cash to make this spring break dream attire come true.

Needless to say we got lots of looks throughout the week including, but not limited to: amusement, horror, concern, hilarity and even, 100% unperturbed. We spend a lot of our adult lives trying to uncover the parts of ourselves we grew up knowing other people wanted gone. But, what if, we can show MK through our actions, that we love and support all aspects of their self-discovery and personal growth throughout our time together?

There are endless surprising things I’ve learned so far as a parent, and most of them totally catch me off-guard. This past week was no exception as I experienced the joy that is entangled with nurturing our child, to live life as their truest self.

None of us are perfect.

There will be blindspots in our parenting we’re sure to hear about in the future.

For now though, we’ll continue to support our kid via any costume, art medium, sport, conversation, activity, emotion, or personal expression, stopping just shy of something that may bring harm or hurt to others. As they navigate the sometimes choppy waters that can come with “growing up”, may they know they have two Moms excitedly cheering them on, always.