Slow Motion

Yesterday weather-wise, was an absolute stunner in the city. There was a gentle ocean breeze wafting over these urban hills, and the skies held a marvelous cobalt blue for all of the daytime hours. There was a dazzling bookended rainbow show of colors, as the sun made it’s entrance and exit on what was the day of the 2022 equinox.

I woke up early, and sipped some very strong coffee in the quiet, then got myself and the kiddo ready for school drop-off as Anne hopped on an early work call. I met a friend for a long breakfast with delicious coffee and pastries, and then bid them adieu before making my way over to an appointment. I felt like I’d lived an entire lovely day before it had even reached 11am, and was singing along to my tunes looking for a parking spot for my meeting. I gasped with delight when I found a great spot just a block from my destination, and then groaned aloud after I had put the car in park, realizing the spot was empty because there was a permitted sign for construction vehicles only.

I reversed, first checking my three cameras, then put the car in drive, and used my left turn signal to indicate my entry back on to the road. I scanned my car cameras again, looked over my left shoulder to triple check, and when all signs pointed to the road being clear and ready for my re-entrance, I lightly tapped the gas and started to make my way back on to Steiner street. I have gone over it again and again and again; I did everything I was supposed to. The road was empty. I was free and clear to be on way again. Except that’s not how accident’s work is it? You can do everything properly, and so can the other person, but alas, the very definition of an accident is: an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury.

I remember that all of the sudden it was like something in my brain changed, and time felt like it was in slow motion. I remember thinking, “where did that truck come from?”, and then sloooooowly realizing that there was absolutely no way our two vehicles were not going to make impact. I remember hearing the sounds, and feeling the vibrations of metal on metal, and the cruuuuuuunching of my car. I have no doubt that as my life moves forward the details of that moment will soften in clarity. For now in the hours since, like a video recording I am running the footage back: I first feel the presence of the other car, see it in my periphery, hear the sounds, smell the aftermath of the heat and the broken metal and plastic parts, and taste the acid on my tongue that my stomach gave up when I finally let my breath out after the crash.

The driver of the truck stopped their vehicle, and we both hopped out and jogged towards one another. It didn’t cross my mind that I was in shock, as all I could think about was if they were ok. They seemed to feel the same, as we came together in the middle of the road both out of breath and shaking, to check on one another and giving ourselves and our vehicles a once over. They stated that their body and vehicle were “fine”, but for a small scratch on the side of their car. My body was “fine”, but my car was effed. The front bumper had been ripped halfway off, and was hanging down on the road. The wheel well looked bent, and was touching the drivers side front tire. There were plastic parts busted up and scattered all over the road, and metal framework for the car was exposed to the light of day. My front license plate was lying in the middle of the road, and the drivers side headlight was kinked and pointing upward at an angle that made me instantly wince. I have never been in the drivers seat when being in a car accident before, and I was truly stunned by how quickly such a dangerous mess had happened.

I texted Anne as soon as I was able, because I was worried our car would send her an impact alert as she was in a high-rise building downtown, in the depths of one conference room or another. I wanted to be sure she heard from me first, because the last time I was in an accident, she was in a conference room in Potrero Hill, and a stranger called her from my phone after that car sent me flying in a crosswalk. I let her know I was “OK”, but our car was not, and then told her I had to go so I could deal with the administrative parts of a vehicle impact. The other driver and I went through motions of calling insurance, and exchanging information, and then waiting for a tow truck to send my car off to some unknown address to be repaired, as some nearby painters brought us water and offers of a place to sit in the shade for a minute. In a moment of terror and fear, the goodness in humanity showed itself, and for that I will be forever grateful.

After making some phone calls, I turned around and saw my sister-in-law standing there, because of course my wife called her as soon as we’d hung up. Anne knew she couldn’t get there in time to be of any in-person help, but she also knew her sweet sister was ten minutes away. When I saw her walking around the side of the busted up car, I started weeping. She asked me if I was alright, and did I need a tissue and I wiped my nose on my shirt and said, “no, it’s fine.” She gently encouraged me to take the tissue she was offering because, “Lauren, have this tissue because it’s not fine. You have the biggest booger I’ve ever seen hanging out of your nostril, and you’ve got to get that thing off of there.” I laughed very hard through my tears and let her know that if she hadn’t come, I would have been wandering around the corner of Steiner and Pine with tears and one big booger for a long while. After the tow truck was assigned and all of the immediate car claims and removal tasks had been put in to action, we walked around the corner to find a sparkling water and a place to sit down while we waited. All of the adrenaline that had been plunged in to my system was wearing off, and I had shaking hands and legs seemingly made of jelly.

Eventually, my car was towed off, and she gave me a ride home; even stopping by Miles’s school later that day to pick him up for me, so that I didn’t have to get back out there so soon after such a scary moment. It took three offers for me to take her up on it, because I am stubborn and don’t like to put people out. But, letting other people help you can be one of life’s greatest gifts, and I realized I was genuinely panicking at the idea of leaving my house to get on the city streets again in a few hours. It wasn’t until later that afternoon, when telling a friend of mine what had happened, that they mentioned how lucky I was. “Lauren, if that had been one second later, it would have hit you right in the drivers seat, not on your front bumper". It was like time stood still all over again, as I became overwhelmed with gratitude. Of course! I could have been crunched up, instead of my bumper, and I wouldn’t be sitting on my couch two hours later chatting away to my friend about how annoyed I was that this whole thing had happened.

I’m in one piece, and material objects come and go. No one else was in the car with me, including my kid who would have been especially traumatized by the situation, and neither of us drivers were injured. I am feeling extra delighted to be here today, and want to thank AL, AK, BL, MK, and VKY for all of their love and support yesterday. Take care out there everyone.