Let the Sunshine In
It feels very bizarre to me, to be having any good days right now. I mean, the whole fucking world has been brought to its knees, in some extremely agonizing ways. I think right now, we can easily think of, or are one ourselves, people who are hurting very badly in a financial and/or physical and/or emotional way. I have felt like my shoulders have been hunched for ages now. I’ve been holding so much anxious energy in my chest these past few months, that I have to remind myself to be still, and to take some really real, deep breaths. What I need to do, is tilt my face upwards, and let the sunshine right on in to my soul.
I was telling ak, and some friends on our zoom call, about how I had been feeling quite guilty about having any good days. I mean, who am I to be delighting in my blessings, or appreciating the fuck out of my family, or giggling to myself when I realize that while shit is crazy right now, I’ve just made fresh af, middle-of-the-week-day-time-smoothies, for our whole family.
My spouse+friends, reminded me, that I am allowed to feel good things right now. That by completing happy activities, like getting exercise outside, or toting a mason jar salad to the top of the city, while also in a space our kid can run wild, safely, is a wonderful thing.
Cooking healthy food. Enjoying fresh produce. Indulging in sweets. Delighting in a crispy cold glass of white wine. Laughing while wearing my mask, running through a literal field of wild flowers in the park with my kid. Snuggling up to ak, and sharing jokes and talking shit about whatever we feel like for a few hours at night. Seeing my wife’s face as I pass by the dining room, knowing that we all want things to go back to “normal”, but still feeling a little heartbeat skip that I got to see her face at an untraditional weekday time for our family… all. great. things.
In the event you need some sort of permission to allow yourself to feel good things during this fucked-up time in our lives, here. it. is., and here are some things that are making me smile:
